The Complicated Connection Between Male Desire and Sex Dolls
Stepping into the lodge of the establishment, the first thing you will see is the rows of heads mounted on the wall. Their lips are all wearing a high-sheen of lip gloss and their hairs are teased. In addition, their eyes are fixated at a distance, staring yet lifeless.
You will find this scene at the lobby of RealDoll, a sex doll manufacturing company. There, you will also see many busty life-size models supported by metal stands.
If you have ever watched Real Sex, an edgy HBO documentary series, you may have probably heard of this factory already. The said documentary also featured the company’s owner Matt McMullen. There, he stated, “We can build your dream girl for you.”
Moreover, RealDoll offers dolls with Barbie-like proportions, sculpted silicone perfection, and lips parted as if moans will escape there anytime.
To other people, the market for inanimate sex dolls is a reflection of male sexual entitlement and sexual objectification of women. But to others, this is something that they do to fill their fantasies, especially for those who are having a difficult time finding a human woman partner.
The company primarily sells female dolls to men. While they also have male models for the female market, it only accounts for 10 percent of its sales. Every year, the company is able to sell approximately 350 to 400 sex dolls at a price of around $6,000 each.
The customers of this manufacturing company vary. For instance, there are married customers who are seeking to buy sex dolls for a menage a trois. This is because they do not want to experience the messiness of having a human partner who might get attached to them.
There are also single customers who are buying sex dolls out of curiosity.
On the other hand, there are also customers who are divorced from their partners and are looking for companion and sexual satisfaction. Furthermore, some customers only lack social skills, so they opt to find a non-human sexual partner that will not judge whatever they do.
But according to a female staff from the company, there are many customers who request customized sex dolls based on the countenance of a dead spouse. This means that not everyone who purchases sex dolls are men who have an insatiable appetite for sex. There are also grieving widowers who are seeking company through lifeless dolls that look like their deceased spouses.
In this case, we can say that there are times when men defy the cliche of superficial and unemotional wanting. In fact, there are many instances when you will routinely encounter vulnerability, tenderness, and anxiety.
A Brief History of Sex Dolls
Way back in the 19th century, European sailors both cloth of dolls known as “dames de voyage” for themselves. During the 1960s, scientists brought two plastic blow-up dolls named Antarctica 1 and Antarctica 2 to the Show research station located at East Ongul Island. Later that same year, Judy, an inflatable doll that did not have orifices was sold in Japan. Judy was described as a loving companion who could go with men on rides in their convertibles or sit comfortably on the couch while sipping martinis.
Historically speaking, sex dolls have been linked with loneliness. This theme remains until now, even when cloth dolls and plastic blow-up dolls have already been replaced by hyper-realistic TPE and silicone models.
Now, sex dolls are so hyper-realistic that many owners even assign names, personalities, and backstories to their sex dolls. There is even news about a number of men who married their dolls. Sometimes, these doll owners even share wedding photos with their doll brides on social media.
How Men View Sex Dolls
On Doll Forum, a popular message board one man said that he sees sex dolls as something that could tap into his longing for being with a woman who loves him for who he is. Another member said that he sees sex dolls as a simple companion who can sit in an empty chair so you can have someone to talk to, hug, kiss, and share the bed with.
Such accounts fly directly at stereotypes around heterosexual men’s desire as well as to some emerging research about the subject. However, it is not as if this is a large field. In fact, the assumption that the sexuality of men is relatively straightforward is pervasive. This results in much of the contemporary research on the complexity of desire to focus on females.
Rosemary Basson, a sex therapist, published a model of responsive desire in 2001. The model considers the many contextual and relational factors leading to the wish for sex. This includes intimacy and emotional satisfaction. In addition, Basson’s work represents contrast from the bedrock theory of sexual response proposed by Masters and Johnson. The said theory states that sexual response is excitement, plateau, orgasm, and resolution. In addition, it challenged the ideal and concept of sexual desire as a spontaneous urge.
Since then, Basson’s work has been interpreted as a model for women’s desire although she did not intend it that way. As a matter of fact, psychotherapist and sexuality counselor Ian Kerner says that Basson’s work also applies to men’s desire. According to him, this is because men’s desire can be incredibly variable and elastic as well as vulnerable to outside stressors. He added that men’s desire “is not properly understood or ascribed nearly enough nuance or subtlety.”
Furthermore, a study published in the Journal of Sex research in 2016 surveyed straight men who are engaged in long-term heterosexual relationships. They were asked about what fueled their desire. The survey found out the key factors for this are “intimate communication” and “feeling desired.” In addition to that, experiencing rejection, as well as the lack of emotional connection, also decreased their interest with regards to sexual intimacy. This made the researchers conclude that men’s sexual desire may actually be more complex and relational than everyone previously thought.
2austria
1thumbnails