The Sex Life Of German Women
Single, married, in a relationship – these labels do not matter when talking about having sexual desires. All people have them, and attaining sexual satisfaction is their right.
Various methods to experience sexual gratitude exist. First, of course, is having sex with a partner or partners. When that is unavailable, there’s self-stimulation. However, both methods may not always satisfy the person. The problem is, their partners could be done already and won’t be able to do another round. Also, there’s just a limited number of things our hands and fingers can do. In which case, they would want to look for more – no a nice feeling to have. Unfortunately, this is often the case for women.
This is where sex toys come in. These sexual wellness products help women achieve the intense orgasms they are looking for. They bring new sensations that the women cannot experience in vanilla sex or in toy-less masturbation.
Regine Thoeren understands how these products could answer the sexual needs of women. So, she built the only erotic store for women in Cologne, Germany. Thoeren ran “Lady’s Toys” for a quarter of a century until she ultimately closed it at the end of 2019.
From Thoeren, we can hear about how is the sex life of women in Germany. Also, we can get insights into how accepting they and their partners are towards sexual pleasure products.
What Pushed Thoeren To Open A Sex Shop?
We shouldn’t forget that Regine Thoeren is a woman herself. So, she is familiar with the struggles of women when it comes to sex.
Thoren says she has always wanted to go into a sex shop. But, she would not dare enter a normal one. So, Thoeren thought other women would feel the same way. That’s where she got the idea of making an erotic store that is specifically tailored for women. And thus, “Lady’s Toys” was born.
How Was The First Year Of Business?
Keep in mind that the store was built 27 years ago. So, the first year is as you might expect. It was not great.
Thoeren says only the district policeman, mailman, and street cleaners would come and stop by. She was thankful for their company because she did not have any customers. You can account that to the stigma around sex toys, especially during that time.
Thoeren confirms people had reservations. As soon as they learn what she does to make a living, they stop talking to her. But things got better as people realized the importance of sexual wellness.
What Were The Customers Who Walked In The Store Looking For?
The number one item on women who entered the shop’s list is not an actual item. Instead, they came there primarily to get advice. They want tips on how to solve their orgasm problems. And they are pleased to know that it’s commonplace for women to have this problem.
According to Thoeren, most of her customers are 50 – 60-year-olds. Though, she had customers as young as 18 and old as over 80. The most common reason for their visit is that their husband or partner cannot “find the spot.”
What Are The Most Popular Sex Toys?
The answer to this question is not surprising. Of course, they are vibrators designed for clitoral stimulation.
For most women, the clitoris is the most erogenous zone. Sadly, this part often gets ignored by men during regular sexual intercourse. But, they can hold these vibrators to the clitoris while pleasing her in other ways. This is an experience the woman will surely love.
More than their function, women love vibrators because of their modern designs. In the past, they were almost always shaped like the genitalia of a man. But now, they come in different forms and colors. For example, you can find vibrators fashioned to look like ice cream cones. Women love useful things that are also aesthetically pleasing.
Are All Germans Eager To Experiment?
Thoeren says that not all Germans want to try sex toys. Sometimes, both the men and women would want to spice things up. However, in some cases, only one of them would want to.
Often, it is the man that does not want to incorporate sex toys into their sex lives. “My husband won’t allow the vibrator,” the customer would cry to Thoeren.
You would think their husbands are like this because they are confident that they can please their women. However, Thoeren says that that’s not it.
The 65-year-old then-owner of the sex store says that men are actually very insecure. They do not want to use sex toys because it hurts their pride to learn that their performance is not enough to bring a woman to climax.
As this is frequently the case, Thoeren says women buy sex toys secretly. A sad story, indeed.
Are German Women Harder To Please Compared To Women From Other Countries?
No. Women having trouble reaching orgasm is a universal problem. Several pieces of research point out that lots of factors need to be checked to ensure a woman reaches climax. One way is to include lots of “foreplay, after-play, and interlude.” Unfortunately, most men don’t spend much time in these or forgo them altogether.
Thoeren had customers from all over the world. She says that all were afraid to speak about it first because they thought there’s a problem within them. But, once the subject has been brought out, they learn that they all share the same sentiments.
How Open Are Germans Now When It Comes To Discussion About Sex?
In a general sense, yes. There are now TV commercials promoting vibrators when they did not exist ten years ago. But on a more personal level, where it matters more, there’s barely any change. People still struggle to talk about sex with their partners. Finding the right words for longings, dreams, and fantasies is still as tricky as ever.
But, Thoeren says go for it. If you have sexual desires that are yet to be fulfilled, talk to your partner. Sexual health is a human right; you deserve it.
“Everything will be easier if you dare to expose things from the shadows,” advises Thoeren.